Luka Age 5

Me: "Luka, you really have to learn patience."
Luka: ""No way, that'll take for ages!"

Luka Age 6

It was a beautiful sunny day and I suggested we go for a picnic on a loch. Luka said, "Cool! So who's bringing the iPod so I can play Angry Birds."

Luka Age 6

We were driving along in the car when we saw the sign saying 1 mile to Dunblane. Luka asked, "Where is Dunblane 2 because the sign is only for Dunblane 1?"

Luka Age 5

Luka was reading a book about elves with a picture of an elf house. He asked, "Where's his telly?". I replied, "Elves don't have tellys."
Luka thought for a while, "But they have tables and chairs. Are they rich?"

Luka Age 4

Luka: " You have to get married and have children and then you die."
Leah: "No, Sharon doesn't have children."
Luka: "But she's a teenager!"
Leah: "No, she's an adult. She doesn't live with her mum."
Luka: "But Joy's her mum!"

Luka Age 4

One early weekend morning around 630am we were getting up when Luka called up, "Mum, are you coming downstairs?"
Me: "Yes"
Luka: "Is Dad?"
Me: "Yes"
Luka: "2 adults coming downstairs? Is it Christmas?"

Luka Age 5

On a very windy walk home from school Luka said, "I think someone is playing the flute and making the wind dance."

Luka Age 5

Luka: "Mum, I know who the most important person in the world is. In fact, I know who the two most important people are!"
Mum: "Who?"
Luka: "Jesus.....and Mrs. Mitchell (his headteacher.)."

Luka Age 5

We were listening to music that we had at our wedding and I explained to Luka that we had got married to that music. Luka asked Leah, "Leah, who are you going to marry. First, you have to marry and then you die."

Luka Age 5

Luka: "Jesus had a God who made him rise up again. It's not fair-I wish I had a God."

Luka Age 4

Luka: "When Amy cut my hair and I looked in the mirror I thought I looked like a rock star."

Leah Age 9

Leah: "Mum, I don't know what my purpose or passion in life is. It keeps changing."

Luka Age 4

Luka: "I don't like the guitar. Kids who are 4 don't like the guitar."

Luka Age 5

Luka: "I'm glad I was born after Leah because when I'm a grandpa I'll die after her."

Luka Age 6

We had spent a lovely week in our friends cottage in Ireland, screen free. On our way home Luka said, "When I get home I'm going to run over and give the telly a big cuddle."

Luka Age 5

Leah drew a snail and asked Luka what it was. Luka said, "I know, it's an orange on a scarf."

Leah Age 7

Leah: "Ellie doesn't go to big school (University) every day. What do I have to do so that I don't go to big school every day? Do Zoo-keepers have to go to big school every day?

Luka Age 5

Luka: "I love you Mum. I'm going to miss you when you die."

Luka Age 4

Luka: "How come I keep being 4? I want to be 3 again."

Luka Age 4

When we were selling our house we stayed out all day to let people view the house. On our way back Luka said, "Have the rich people taken away our house yet?"
When we got back he shouted, "It's still here!"

Leah Age 7

Leah: "I'm going to be a vegetarian when I grow up because I'm going to work with animals. Not now though, because I'm a growing girl."

Leah Age 7

Leah: "I am not going to have children. They are such hard work."

Luka Age 5

Luka: "When i'm older I'm going to buy an orange motor bike and live in New York."
Me: "That'll be nice but a bit far away. I'll miss you."
Luka: "No you won't, you'll be dead."

Luka Age 4

Luka forgot Raymond's (my sister's partner) name for a minute. Eventually he said, "What do you call Margarete's Somebody Else?"

Luka Age 6

Luka was showing us how he practices basketball and he was describing the different levels, "Rubbish/Practice/Medium/Expert". At the end Leah asked him, "So what are you?" Luka answered, "I'm a mammal."

Luka Age 6

Luka: "When I'm an adult I'm going to try to stay on kid mode."

Luka Age 4

We were on a trip to Glencoe and as we drove we just saw Loch Lubnaig and the mountains ahead. Luka asked, "Are we in a picture?"

Luka Age 4

We were out walking in Callander. Luka said: "We're in a stumble-trip forest."

Luka Age 4

Luka used to call the cooker the Cook-Cook

Luka age 5

Luka pointing at me: "That's the Mum I wanted."

Leah Age 8

Leah: "You know how Mums always tell their daughters that they are the most beautiful girl in the world-well some kids actually believe them!"

Leah age 7

Leah: Why does that (toy) helicopter have a plaster on it?
Luka: Because it hurt itself.
Leah: I was not expecting that! (teenage look on her face)

Leah Age 7

Leah: "Mum, what's the cheapest car you can buy? I think I might buy a cheap car in case I have a baby. then I can afford to buy her all the other stuff."

Luka Age 5

We have a little yellow troll magnet on the fridge. Luka saw it and said, "It's like a naked Jedward!"

Luka Age 6

We were on the train to Edinburgh and I had forgotten to bring snacks and there was no cafe service. Luka said, "It's like Africa on this train-there's no water and it's really hot!"

Luka age 4

I asked Luka to take a wee nap and he replied, "Ok, but I'm going to sleep with my eyes open."

Leah age 9

Leah wanted to cut the cheese for Luka while I was busy with something else. I asked afterwards, "Did you cut it ok?" Leah said, "Yes, and I said your lines-that's enough, be careful and all of that."

Luka Age 3

Luka: "Mum, there are lots of mums at the nursery...but you're my favourite."

Luka age 5

When Luka had a little light up toy he wanted to try out I suggested he use the small utility room where it would be nice and dark. Luka said in his best scary voice, "Oh, the dark, dark storage?" then he said, "Oh that was scary!" meaning his big scary voice.

Luka Age 4

Luka: I found a stone-it was a boat for the snails.

Luka Age 5

We were at Deep Sea World going through the aquarium on the moving carpet when I saw Luka eyeing up the Emergency Stop button. I said, "Don't touch that. It will make everything stop." Luka said, "Oooh, everything in the whole world?"

Leah Age 8

Leah and Luka were having a bath and I overheard Leah saying, "Yes, Luka, I know you pumped, but to be honest I don't need to know."

Luka age 7

Luka had been asked to his friends houses quite a few times to help them with their Skylanders Games. He said, "I'm going to start charging them!" In his defence he had just been doing Financial Awareness week at school.

Luka age 6

After saying goodnight Luka asked me, "Mum does love stay after you die?"

Luka Age 5

Leah and Luka had been playing games with their Meme (granny). She asked them to tidy up before starting a new game. A few minutes later I saw Luka taking out a new game game while Leah and Meme were still tidying up. I asked what was going on. He said, "They're tidying up and I'm setting up the new game-it's called teamwork."

Luka Age 5

Luka was playing with toys in the doctors waiting room, while I sat quietly doing nothing, not even reading! It had been a hectic journey getting them there. Luka must have noticed so he said, "When I'm an adult and I'm waiting for my kids I am going to be so bored sitting doing nothing!"

Luka Age 4

Luka: What is myrrh anyway?
Me: It's a very special cream.
Luka: "For his bum?"

Luka age 4

Luka: I'm thinking about the baby Jesus and it's making me sad.
Me: Why?
Luka: When the baby Jesus grew up they didn't want to hear the good news so they killed him.

Luka Age 4

I was reading "Snow White" to Luka and I got to the bit where the Wicked Queen says that because she is so beautiful Snow White must die. Luka gasped, "What!? Why doesn't she just put her in the naughty corner."

Leah Age

At the awards ceremony for the end of the school year Leah said, "I thought I might get an award because I'm the new girl but I've settled in as if I've been here forever."

Leah age 9

Jeff was on the roof of the garage. Leah said, "I'm not scared. I'm proud of him-he's searching for honey."
There had been a programme about this on Human Planet.

Luka Age 5

Luka walking past a chip shop in Stirling stopped and smiled. "Ah, this smells like Glasgow."

Luka age 4

Me: "Leah's 8 today"
Luka: "But she can't be 8." He looks confused then tries to measure her with his hand and wrinkles his nose. "I can't feel it"

Luka Age 5

Luka: "When you die do you go to a dying station and if a cloud comes down with your name on it do you have to get on it?"

Luka Age 5

When the Masai warriors came to Luka's school to perform he explained to me that after the show they were going back to Africa. He said, "They are NOT going to get home before bedtime!"

Luka age 5

Me: I love you so much
Luka: Ah! I love you better than that!

Luka Age 4

On our way to the beach in France Luka says, "I'm going to make a massive medium castle for a crab king and an ant princess."

Luka Age 5

Luka said to , "Mummy, will you be having another baby because you're not really using your boobies any more."

Leah age 8

Me: What did you do at school today?
Leah: Comprehension
Me: And did you comprehend?
Leah: What does that mean?

Luka Age 5

When Luka was about 5 and half I found a handwritten story from him. It read "Once upon a time there was a sleeping Leah. Luka jumped on her and then she died."

Luka Age 7

After a day of squabbling with each other I took Leah and Luka aside to explain how to get on better. Luka said, "Mum, brothers and sisters fight-that's just the way life is..."

Luka age 6

Luka called Dairylea soft cheese "Cow Cream"

Luka Age 6

I asked Leah and Luka to tidy up their toys and other stuff. After asking a few times because they hadn't got on with it Luka turned to me and said, "Mum, you're like one of those wicked stepmother people!"

Luka Age 5

Luka was lamenting that he still couldn't reach the light switch.
He said, "I keep not being an adult for ages!"

Luka Age 6

One evening I told Luka that since his dad and me were going out a babysitter was coming over to watch him.
Luka said, "Watch me do what?"

Luka Age 6

After a visit to the Falkirk wheel we were heading home and as always Luka was a bit fed up at having to go school the next day. He asked, "Why do we need to go to school?"
Me: "So you can learn to build awesome things like the Falkirk Wheel"
Luka: "What?! I am definitely at the wrong school. We do not get taught that!"

Luka Age 6

In the Wee Blether tearoom they had a display with an old typewriter and I explained what it was. Luka said, "How do you play games on that?"

Luka age 6

Luka had pulled Leah under the water in the swimming pool so I asked him to sit on the side of the pool for 5 minutes as a time out. He kept asking "is it 5 minutes yet?" after a while he said, "Why is it when you tell me that we have 5 minutes left at the swing park it goes really quick but when I'm sitting on the side doing nothing it takes forever??"
I think Einstein answered that one.

Luka Age 7 2/12

Luka: if I was the richest kid in the world I could buy all the Skylanders toys.
Me: Sounds good. What would you buy for me?
Luka pauses to think then says: But all YOU need is love!

Luka Age 7

Luka: Can we join the cross country club
Me: Yes, but not today. In the the future
Luka: But I'll be dead in the future!

I tried to explain that "the future" can be anytime after "the present", for example in one minute, one day or one month..... so then Luka says: "there is no such thing as the future because as soon as you get to it, it's the present!...."

Leah age 8

Me; It's Anti-Bullying week this week.

Leah: "What?! You have to bully your Aunty?"

Luka age 5

Luka: I'm nice to people in the playground because the cameras can see me.*

*mother's disclaimer: I think Luka is actually nice to people even when the camera's aren't there

Luka age 4

Luka: The toilet said I didn't need a wee
Me: The toilet spoke to you?
Luka: No, it was the magic fish in the sea. It shouted up the pipe "you don't need a wee.......!"

Leah age 9

Before bed one evening Leah said" If there was a genie my 3 wishes would be 1. make my DouDou back to it's normal size; 2. Have lots of pets, and 3. World Peace.

Luka age 6

Luka was spreading butter on bread and siad his arm was getting tired. I said "You need to practice and get strong then."
Luka replied, "Mum, it's not an Olympic sport."

Leah age 9

Leah was asking what age Jeff and I were when she was born and what age she was when Luka was born. She turned to Luka and said, "Hey, I had a good thing going till you came along."

Luka age 4

Luka says: "I wish I was so small I could fit in a mouse's house." After a pause he asked, "Mum, do you have magic for that?"

Luka Age 4

On our summer holidays Luka asked for the millionth time "What are we doing tomorrow?". I answered, "Tomorrow we do nothing, we are going to relax"
Luka replied, "No way, it's party time!"

Leah aged 4

I was putting on moisturiser one morning. Leah said "I've seen that on TV. It says it gets rid of wrinkles." As I continued to put it on Leah watches then says "Mum, it's not working!"

Luka age 7

Me and Luka were having a wee snuggly cuddle before his bedtime when he said, "This is the greatest part of my life." :-)

Luka age 7

It was 5 degrees C outside on a winter morning and Luka comes out of the house and says "Wow, it is sooooo hot!" I think he is now #officiallyscottish